Tag Archives: Christian humour

Derek’s Jokes #11

5 Aug

 
Derek'S Jokes #11

Derek’s Definitions: Bumper bundle!

25 Nov

Dear friends

Not one, but four of my popular (well they are with me) ‘Derek’s Definitions’ for your delectation.

Generosity would appear to be my middle name.

Onward and upward

Derek

Derek's Definitions-Plagiarism Derek's Definitions- Pulpit Derek's Definitions-Lectern Derek's Definitions- FULL GOSPEL

Did Adam have a belly button?

11 Sep

Dear friends,

A reader of my missives has asked me a very interesting question: “Did Adam have a belly button?”

A veritable conundrum indeed!

Whilst there are those of my flock at St.Cliff’s who are convinced that I pre-date a certain Noah this is assuredly not the case and thus I am not able to give a categoric answer to this fine question, chiefly because I was not there at the time. But, lest I be accused of skirting around this pertinent poser, allow me to proffer some thoughts nonetheless.

Here are my considered musings.

Should you have ever had cause to peruse the opening passages of the Bible (I am assuming my questioner possesses a copy of the aforementioned book) you will notice that on the third day of creation land appeared from beneath the depths of the sea. Having been given the command (by God) to ‘subdue the earth’ it seems to me that this topographical predicament would have rather scuppered things things for Adam (the world’s first incumbent of the human frame). How on earth (forgive the pun – sometimes I just can’t see to help myself) was he to fulfil this weighty mandate without drowning in the process?

Having scratched my clerical pate (while supping my ritual elevenses to oil the wheels of inspiration) I have come to the conclusion that because of these oceanic obstacles a belly button would have been an absolute prerequisite for Adam.

Why is that you ask? I will tell you.

It is clear to me that to traverse the Seven Seas some sort of ‘navel’ experience would have been essential.

I trust that your mind has now been put to rest.

Onward and upward

Derek

You can also find me at http://www.derekthecleric.com