Tag Archives: Derek the Cleric

Your help is needed!

2 Oct

Ask Derek

Dear friends, I need your help.

Having employed my veritable wisdom in my popular ‘Ask Derek‘ feature over the past few years the time is ripe to get my teeth into some more conundrums.

To that end, if you have a thorny biblical question for which you presently have no answer or perhaps there is a more general question on matters pertaining to life, the universe and everything, then help is at hand!

Simply let me know the question that is causing you consternation (you may use the ‘comment’ feature on this wondrous blog site) and I will select those which I consider to be of the greatest interest to the folk in my ‘online flock’ to answer.

I await your response with eager anticipation!

In the meantime why not check out my past ‘Ask Derek’ archive at… http://www.derekthecleric.com/ask

Onward and upward

Derek

 

You can also find me at www.derekthecleric.com

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Derek’s Definitions: ABSOLUTION

30 Sep

Derek's Definitions- ABSOLUTION

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can also find me at www.derekthecleric.com

 

Derek’s Photos:Cash back!

16 Jan

OFFERINGYou can also find me at http://www.derekthecleric.com

 

Did Adam have a belly button?

11 Sep

Dear friends,

A reader of my missives has asked me a very interesting question: “Did Adam have a belly button?”

A veritable conundrum indeed!

Whilst there are those of my flock at St.Cliff’s who are convinced that I pre-date a certain Noah this is assuredly not the case and thus I am not able to give a categoric answer to this fine question, chiefly because I was not there at the time. But, lest I be accused of skirting around this pertinent poser, allow me to proffer some thoughts nonetheless.

Here are my considered musings.

Should you have ever had cause to peruse the opening passages of the Bible (I am assuming my questioner possesses a copy of the aforementioned book) you will notice that on the third day of creation land appeared from beneath the depths of the sea. Having been given the command (by God) to ‘subdue the earth’ it seems to me that this topographical predicament would have rather scuppered things things for Adam (the world’s first incumbent of the human frame). How on earth (forgive the pun – sometimes I just can’t see to help myself) was he to fulfil this weighty mandate without drowning in the process?

Having scratched my clerical pate (while supping my ritual elevenses to oil the wheels of inspiration) I have come to the conclusion that because of these oceanic obstacles a belly button would have been an absolute prerequisite for Adam.

Why is that you ask? I will tell you.

It is clear to me that to traverse the Seven Seas some sort of ‘navel’ experience would have been essential.

I trust that your mind has now been put to rest.

Onward and upward

Derek

You can also find me at http://www.derekthecleric.com